Travel, School, and Silliness

Let's just say that my life has lately been one hyper-tangency to the next for the past 4 weeks. And maybe thats why my blogging and life has previously been so random and unfocused and well, full of questions and no real content.

Well here's the content i've likely been holding back. And the threads are many.

Let's start with fun stuff.
I realized that I am a damn frikken good judge of good character.
I am (and now believe) that i am actually a rediculously hypertensive people person.
I am a good person. Most people are good people, many people are misguided.
I have a real female interest (who is not yet in my life - but i hope will be as soon as i can relinquish myself from my too many responsibilities currently)
I actually have solidified my new goal in my life. --> will talk about that later.
Stupid facebook has hit critical mass. --> I have an idea for marketing with it.

I am questioning the content of my process and past blogging records. MAybe a good business opportunity, all i really want is content control --> i might change my blog soon.

I didn't even realize the list above was going to be so good. (im still not going to proofread my blogs, its not pure)

Ok... so here's some content that i saved in word files that dates back to my days in norway. Arguably my most dominating female experience and philisophical conviction. Oh yeah and first a good description of a day in norway that i only remember because its well documented.

Murder of the Dance Floor (Good song, appropriate Title)
Yesterday, beyond all my situational comprehension was a beautiful day.
A beautiful day in Bergen, without a care, and without feeling regret for anything I was doing, I just enjoyed the Beautiful, Sunny, Bergen, filled with PEO-PLE! It was a day where I felt like I lost my constant life impatience, and my need to do anything productive.*I cooked a beautiful dinner with Matthew, fish, veggies & cheese, smoked salmon. It was wonderful and we began talking about future travel possibilities.

*Klubben (campus bar) was a great time. And the moment Odette started giving me one of those curious/knowing/helplessly looks I knew it was going to be an interesting and impossible night. I could feel it in my gut that at least something would happen tonight.
*Except that on this particular evening I ran into feelings that I can finally can come to terms with. Joanna, who you’ve all heard me swoon over so much basically brushed me off, yet again, and did what she does to me best, she made me actually feel something.
*In her own albeit frustrating (but only because I don’t back off) way, Joanna found yet again what she’s been looking for. A one night fling on the dance floor.

Ok so here is the story in fastforward with me and joanna
*Even before I realized what I was doing, and basically what I’ve been doing all along. I’ve always been one to go out of my way to make people who are nice to me happy. Then the day Joanna first fell for Pablo @ Norwegian homecoming I got this deep feeling of, ‘why couldn’t that be me?’, but at the same time I was utterly excited that a nice person had found someone who makes them feel wonderful. Except Pablo dropped Joanna like a rock & Joanna was heartbroken.
*So, without shame or reservation a few days later, I let Joanna know I really liked her and let her know how wonderful a person I thought she was in hopes that she might cheer up and get over with her heartbreak. Except that probably didn’t make my life any easier as after whenever I look at her I couldn’t help but care for her and that shows in my stare. And I’ve been unavoidably part of her life since I got here in Bergen so the awkwardness continued. Life goes on and random events & conversations transpired where I truly felt how deeply I cared for Joanna. *So I received a lot of distasteful “What’s?”, and a “Don’t look at me like that” for about three months because I can’t not stare at such a wonderfully warm spirited, precious & beautiful person, and not be completely exposed.

But what really gets me is how I finally feel now:
I could be angry with myself for caring so desperately for someone again.
Or, I could be wonderfully happy that once again Joanna found someone again last night.
She’s probably not going to see that person again but at least she lit up like a Christmas tree again. And beyond my heartbreak something about seeing people who don’t smile often enough, just smile, fills me with utter happiness that overrides any feeling of shame or disappointment. So I strangely feel happy, with a lingering feeling that I might just breakdown at some point, but I’m betting that won’t happen. Interestingly enough, it’s the style of meeting someone that kills me to begin with. I just can’t see myself meeting someone on the dance floor. I still feel sleezy when I start to try to pick up someone at a club. & the way Joanna wants meets people is fundamentally different from my own style. So like Poker I’ve played my chips wrong from day one. I invested in a hand that was lost to begin with. I’m hoping I have learned a few things about myself and what I’m not letting myself read from girls along the way. So the quest must continue albeit without target or expectation, I know I lack patience, but at least I recognize my weakness.






The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown – Stirring, influential & resounding!

So here are a few questions inspired by this book that highly resonate with my Catholic/Christian reservations:
Q1. What is wrong about thinking Jesus was just a great person?
Q2. Why is it wrong to say that the Bible is just a commonly believed version of the truth?

Even if you don’t like my questions & where this is leading, Chapter 60 of The Da Vinci Code is utterly mind boggling & basically opened my eyes to a world of possibility and doubt concerning the New Testament.

This question appears in the text of The Da vinci Code:
Q3. Why wouldn’t Jesus have kept a chronicle of His ministry?

"--> and holy shit, its so frikken true, because why would someone who knows they are a great person need to record thier acts, especially with so many people around him documenting his life for him already .. (Added March 16th - 2006)

The following is what has me thinking:
Note: The following does not give away any of the suspense & beauty of this fine book
Excerpt: End of Chapter 81
[ Langdon smiled. “Sophie, every faith in the world is based on fabrication. That is the definition of faith – acceptance of that which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove. Every religion describes God through metaphor, allegory and exaggeration from the early Egyptians through modern Sunday school. Metaphors are a way to help our minds process the unprocessible. The problems arise when we begin to believe literally in our own metaphors.’
‘So you are in favour of the Sangreal documents staying buried for ever?’
‘I’m a historian. I’m opposed to the destruction of documents, and I would love to see religious scholars have more information to ponder the exceptional life of Jesus Christ.’
‘You’re arguing both sides of my question.’
‘Am I? The Bible represents a fundamental guidepost for millions of people on the planet, in much the same way the Koran, Torah and Pali Canon offer guidance to people of other religions. If you and I could dig up documentation that contradicted the holy stories of Islamic belief, Judaic belief, Buddhist belief, pagan belief, should we do that? Should we wave a flag and tell the Buddhists that we have proof that Buddha did not come from a lotus blossom? Or that Jesus was not born of a literal virgin birth? Those who truly understand their faiths understand the stories are metaphorical.’
Sophie looked skeptical. ‘ My friends who are devout Christians definitely believe that Christ literally walked on water, literally turned water into wine and was born of a literal virgin birth.’
‘My point exactly,’ Langdon said. ‘Religious allegory has become a part of the fabric of reality. And living in that reality helps millions of people cope and be better people.’
‘But it appears their reality is false.’
Langdon chuckled. ‘No more false than that of a mathematical cryptographer who believes in the imaginary number ‘i’ because it helps her break codes.’
Sophie frowned. ‘That’s not fair.’ ]
---------------

What frustrates me in my own religious quest is a feeling that somehow I am looked down upon for fundamentally believing that all religious writings/beliefs, are just something that people need to believe in, to live.

The scary thing that remains paramount in my mind is how underlying & influential religion gets tied up in politics and world power struggles which are obviously intertwined in even the most RECENT historical past.

“Truth to me is what we as a society come to regard as right” marky

As Napoleon once said, “What is history, but a fable agreed upon?”
(Chapter 60 pg.343 The Da vinci code by dan brown)


I really feel this is my best blog yet. and it's because most of my fundamental life questions have been answered at this point in my life. And i have a tangible goal in terms of my Long-term life existence. That's a pretty strong statement and i bet this will change. But for now, im goign to agree with my mom, and recognize that the people i migrate to likely will do similar things in thier own unique way.

My way just might be like Fontaine's --> United Nations. We only differ in location.
But location is irrelevant and the knowledge we bring to the table will be different.
But i plan to attack china in year 2020. So watch out fontaine.. it might be an attack of grandios proportions.

ps. Raymond is still ugly. :) and ask Andy why i still VALUE your hardcore opinion.