Travel, School, and Silliness

Where i think i need to blog.

Wednesday - Massive presentation in class
Thursday - Massive MASSSSSIVE paper due (started and ended it in one all nighter)
Thursday - Slept for 4 hours, then got up to finish another large term assignment due that afternoon
Friday - Take-Home Final Due today and completed today.
Friday night - Went out for some party....

Let's sum-up what i see around me.

Cam - Found his next girl, yet again a good friend of mine, surely enjoying themselves together that night.
Brian - Found his next girl, yet again younger, a more froshlike version than the last, fairly unsuccessful however, i actually support his un-success.
Alex and Erica - Well this might be a moot point but recognize that these two of my housemates are listed TOGETHER and you see what im saying.
That leaves Ashlin - Enjoying the close proximity of Josh her "study buddy"

mmm surely a sexy situation all around. And where does that leave me?

Saturday (Last night)- Marky enjoyed another unsuccessful time at Local Retro-disco, dancefloor/lounge on the infamous princess street.

Saturday afternoon - Got a little work done and applied yet again to the NSC, the place i have come to do many an all-nighters. A place i have come to call my home.

Saturday night - Find out, Yet again, i did not get the job.
Worst yet, i didn't get the job because i didn't "put enough LAME effort" into my application. (which i vehemontly disagree, so in my opinion i just sucked)

Worst yet, I had two (hopefully still) good friends on the committee of three for hiring. And somehow i still didn't get the job even with Cam convincing me to apply again.

Worst yet, I didn't simply get a "No you didn't get the job", I got a "why didn't you try harder" - even when i felt i did. And a call on my effort in general.

Worst yet, My other friend didn't even mention to me the dissapointing news when i saw him this evening. To me, thats just a sure sign that (i sucked, OR i never had a chance in the first place)

Worst yet. It could have just been a simple matter of saying.
"Mark - we aren't hiring any 4th years" - that would have been just fine enough and i could at least be satisfied to recognize that my opportunity was lost when i helped out a friend who got the job instead of me while i was ass sick and in one of the most depressed states i've ever been in my life (the beggining of this school year)
But, instead im now to question friendship, and self-worth!
Talk about a double-blow. One which brought me to tears by its compound effects.

Brought back thoughts of past failures.
Brought back frustration over COMSOC's POOR hiring policies.

So i can honestly say today was not the most smiley of all days for me.
Today i cried. Honestly, truthfully. Once embarrased, once prowd. And probably once more.


But today i did do something i am very proud of, and it happened by slight chance, and slighty out of temptation. I signed up to interview for a trip to Chile, building houses for a week or so in May.

Sounds like a good plan, something hands on, something that makes a difference to someone at least, and something to put my energy and time into.
Told my sister and she tottally supports me. "id do it too!"

So I've got an interview on Monday.
As Andy may have an interview on Sunday. - perhaps i should shave a tad as-well.

Now on top of all that, i even tried to stop by ol gracy's yesterday. She wasn't there but I must also say that she's been there when i needed her most this semester, so for that im very thankful. You readers can choose who made that happen. God or Grace? I choose Grace. (maybe its the same thing) ..
ok enuf with my silly banter about yer name gracey.

Ohhh, and lets not forget that i actually got a decent start on my LAST essay due monday. Tis a wonderful thing aint it.

Nothing I ever put into my blogs about the Future every really comes true, so im not going to tell you what im GOING to do now, instead im going to say, thanks for reading. I needed a little extra friend action tonight, and sometimes the blogs the only/best way to get that, even if the comments are a little delayed.

Miss ya all lots
marky
So technically im aHEAD of scheduale.